


oh no, another christmas alone!

by r3d5t0n3 (Silentiere), Silentiere



Category: Crewniverse (Video Blogging RPF), The Crew - Fandom, The Crew YouTube Group
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Loneliness, M/M, Past Violence, Songfic, Suicide Attempt, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 16:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11317260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silentiere/pseuds/r3d5t0n3, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silentiere/pseuds/Silentiere
Summary: It's too cold for anyone to be outside on Christmas, especially on a bridge.





	1. shadows that time forgot

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [please don't jump (it's christmas) [minicat]](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/302715) by criousgaymers. 



> "please don't jump (it's christmas)" by dallon weekes is a good song and i appreciate the minicat fic that let me discover it.

 

> _Another year's over_
> 
> _The snow starts to fall_
> 
> _Just like you would if you ended it all_
> 
> _But tonight's not the night_
> 
> _If only you'd answer my calls_
> 
> _Please pick up now_

Shadow hated how time seemed to pass by so quickly. It was Christmas, one of his least favorite holidays of the year. He didn't believe in a deity, and he didn't have anyone to spend the day with. He had always spent Christmas alone.

This Christmas, it was snowing- it had been snowing for the past week, and it had accumulated to at least one foot now.

He remembered when he was a kid, he used to make snow angels and snowmen with his classmates. He hadn't talked to them in a long while- they hadn't bothered to contact him, so he hadn't either. There were no "merry christmas" or "happy holidays" messages sent to his phone from them, and none from his family either. When was the last time he talked to them? He couldn't remember. Nonetheless, he wasn't "celebrating" with them.

Tonight, he was going to celebrate on his own.

 

> _Oh no_
> 
> _Another Christmas alone_
> 
> _I would talk you down_
> 
> _If you would answer your phone_
> 
> _Please don't jump_

Shadow found himself wandering outside in the thirty degree weather. It was nine o'clock at night, and the stars were just barely twinkling in the night. Damn, if only he lived further away from the city.  

He slowly made his way to his destination- the bridge. He walked over to the railing and gazed down, admiring the view. The moon's reflection wavered in the water as a breeze carried the waves. It looked beautiful. He wanted to become something beautiful- something that people admired and appreciated. If he jumped into the river, for just one tiny moment, it'd look like he was part of the night sky. And then, he'd slip beneath the surface, and nothing would matter anymore.

Slowly, he climbed over the railing and sat on top. His bare hands clutched the cool metal, but it only felt numb to him.

He would feel nothing once everything was over with.

It was only when he heard someone calling out behind him that made him stop.

 

> _Please_  
>  _Don't you dare jump_  
>  _Don't you_  
>  _'Cause it's Christmas!_

"Hey, don't jump!"

Shadow turned his head sideways and saw a boy running toward him. He concentrated on what the boy looked like (it was difficult with the darkness) but he noticed he was a brunet with skin far more tanned than his own, dressed in a violet jacket. He turned his view back toward the river.

"Don't do this man, especially not on Christmas!" The boy said. "Can you get down, please?"

"I can. Will I? Now that's a question you should ask." Shadow mumbled.

"Would you though?" The boy pleaded.

"It shouldn't matter to you." Shadow said.

"Why not?"

"Doesn't matter to me."

"Come on, it's Christmas! People care about you, you know." The boy said.

"It doesn't seem like it. No one's messaged me at all today. Not even family. Not in years." He responded.

There was a short silence before the boy managed to muster up a response. "I'm sure that they care still."

"Why does this bother you? You don't know them, you don't know me-"

The boy cut him off. "Then I'll get to know you. What's your name?"

"It's Aaron." He murmured.

"Okay Aaron, my name's Albi. What do you like to do besides hang out on railings?"

"Making music, I guess." He answered.

"What kind of music do you make?" Albi inquired.

"Electronic stuff. It's not very good though." Shadow said.

"I'm sure your music is better than you think it is. Could I listen to it?"

"I doubt it. I don't think you want to listen to shitty dubstep in this weather." He muttered.

"I'll sit here and do whatever if it means you'll come back on this side of the railing. I don't want you to do something you'll regret. It's not worth it man, I promise."

"Come up here with me, then." He asked.

Albi carefully climbed his way up and sat on the railing with him. "Oh, it's really pretty up here, wow."

"You understand why I wanted this to be the last thing I see, yeah?"

"Yeah, but don't you want to see anything else? Like, I dunno, waking up besides your significant other?" Albi suggested.

"Haven't had one of those in a while. Can't blame 'em. I'm not much of a looker." Shadow muttered.

"Neither am I."

 

> _Another year's over_
> 
> _You're spent on the floor_
> 
> _You burn all the pictures_
> 
> _You hang from your door_
> 
> _You've got family and friends_
> 
> _But you don't really talk anymore_
> 
> _Just like last year_

"So, um, if you don't mind me asking, how'd you spend last Christmas?" Albi asked.

"I burned all the pictures I had of people I don't talk to anymore. Which happened to be all of them, so yeah." Shadow shrugged.

"You could spend this Christmas with my friend and I, if you want. We'll just be fucking around on video games, messing with Christmas noobs and shit." Albi suggested.

"Alright."

"Cool, but first, I'm kinda actually lost but he doesn't live far from here, from what he told me. You have any idea where 'Springville Road' is?"

"Yeah, it's nearby. I can walk you there."

"Sounds good to me." Albi said, smiling.

The pair hopped down from the railing and started their journey.

 

* * *

 

 

"Aren't you cold at all?" Albi asked as they walked. Instead of a jacket or a coat, Shadow wore a navy-colored hoodie.

"I'm used to it," Shadow mumbled. "It doesn't feel like anything to me."

"I'm live further South, so I'm not really used to snowy weather," Albi explained.

"So, how'd you and your friend meet?" Shadow asked.

"We found each other while playing in a MW2 lobby. We've been playing together for years, and now I get to visit him. I'm like his Christmas present," Albi laughed. His laughter was contagious, and Shadow couldn't help but laugh with Albi- damn, he hadn't laughed in a while too.

"So you were one of those twelve-year-olds that played shooters?"

"Yeah, but I didn't sound like one. He and his friends say my voice hasn't changed at all over the years."

"How long have you been playing games with them?" Shadow asked.

"I'm eighteen now, so about... five years? Man, that's a long ass time. I don't know how they've dealt with me for this long," he laughed once again. "They've all got jobs and partners and stuff, but I'm just like, a kid, you know?"

"I've been on my own for a while now, so I think everyone's just given up on dealing with me. I'm just a mess."

"Hey, don't say that. Things might be messy but you just gotta figure out how to make it work." Albi turned to look at him with a smile. "Trust me, things can get better. I kinda know what it's like."

"Oh?"

"I think you've guessed this already, but my name's not exactly common. You ever heard of a place called Kosovo?"

Shadow tried to think back to the plentiful amount of geography classes he took. He never did really pay attention in them; he was much better at math. "Somewhere in the Balkans, right?" He guessed.

"Yep, right by Albania and Serbia. It's where I'm from. Did you ever learn about it when you were in school?"

"I don't think I did, no."

"Well, there was like a war there. Or conflict, whatever they call it. It happened a couple of years after I was born. Kosovo kinda has a story like Israel, like the land is important to a bunch of different groups. The Serbs and Albanians were fighting against each other, and the Serb leader guy was like 'hey, these Albanians suck!' even though there was a lot of us, and his guys were driving us all out and killing us and stuff. So, my family fled their place and brought us all to the States."

"Wow, that sucks man. I'm sorry that you had to deal with shit like that."

"It's not like you can control what they do. At the end of the day, I'm alive, my brother's alive, my parents are alive, and that's good enough for me. I'm glad you're alive too, though."

"It's not like I had to deal with a war. I'm just sad and shit."

"Just because some people have it quote unquote 'worse' than you doesn't mean you can't be sad. You're allowed to have feelings." Albi reassured.

Albi stopped walking as they came upon a blue house. "Here we are."

They walked up the path to the front door and Albi rang the doorbell. When the door opened, a tall man came into view.

"Hey Albi! You brought a guest with you?" The man greeted the two.

"Yeah, his name's Aaron. Aaron, meet Lucas." Albi introduced each other.

"Everyone just calls me Speedy, though. Nice to meet you!" Speedy said.

"It's nice to meet you, too." Shadow replied.

"It must be freezing out there, come inside." Speedy stepped aside to let the pair in.

As Shadow entered his home, he felt a rush of warm air greet him. It sparked a foreign, strange feeling in his chest, but it felt... good. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling that he could only describe as being welcomed someplace.

With that realization, the corners of his mouth turned upward and formed a smile.


	2. bonus chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of closure.

Before Shadow left Speedy's house, Albi managed to be alone with him in the living room when Speedy disappeared upstairs.

"Hey man, could I use your phone for a sec?" Albi asked.

"Why?"

"So I can talk to you later, duh." Albi laughed.

Aaron retrieved it from his jeans' back-pocket and handed it over to him. With a multitude of swipes across the screen, Albi found his contacts list and added his number to it, then handed it back over to Aaron. When he received his phone back, he was greeted with the name "albi ★".

' _How'd you even get a star with this keyboard?,_ ' Shadow thought.

"Text me if you ever need someone to talk to, alright?" Albi said. "I promise I'll be there."

He looked into Albi's eyes, searching for any sign of deception. Anything that hinted that he was lying–-any gleam of wickedness and distrust. But he found nothing evil within him. "I'll trust your word," he said.

"Oh, and before I forget, do you have any sort of place where you upload your music?" Albi asked.

"Yeah, I upload them on Youtube. I'll send you the link once I'm home." Shadow answered.

"I'll look forward to it. Have a good night!" Albi said.

"You too," Shadow replied, before walking the path back to his home.

 

Were there really people this good still left in the world? It baffled him. Albi was so friendly and happy–-he'd managed to make him feel the best he'd felt in years. He was used to being alone and ignored, but with the sudden amount of attention from the boy, he didn't know how to react. He felt like he was drawn to him, and he almost wished that he could go back and just talk to him about whatever he wanted, even though he already knew so much about him in such a short amount of time. Aaron had barely opened up to the boy; all he knew was his name and number. Eventually, he'd tell the boy anything he wanted to ask him about.

It's the least he could do for someone who saved his life, after all.

* * *

 

Albi felt his phone buzz beside him. He picked it up and on the lock screen, which said "two new messages from aaron ♪". Quickly, he opened up his messages and read his texts.

_aaron ♪: thanks for helping me_

_aaron ♪: my music's on my youtube channel, it's called shadowbeatzinc_

_aaron ♪: i'm going to sleep now so i'll talk to you in the morning_

_received: 12/26 1:15 AM_

_**albi ★: good night~ ty for the link**  
_

_sent: 12/26 1:16 AM_

* * *

 

_**albi ★: hey speedy wanna listen to some music with me?** _

_received: 12/26 1:22 AM_

_speedy ✪: sure dude!_

_sent: 12/26 1:22 AM_

_**albi ★: look up shadowbeatzinc on youtube** _

_**albi ★: its aaron's channel and he has like thirty songs** _

_**albi ★: he says they suck but i think hes lying** _

_received: 12/26 1:23 AM_

_speedy ✪: okay i found it! he has a playlist of them all_

_sent: 12/26 1:24 AM_

_**albi ★: im listening to pulse ecstasy rn** _

_**albi ★: its like super good and hype** _

_received: 12/26 1:25 AM_

_speedy ✪: ooh the drop in just one night is really good!_

_speedy ✪: it's like perfect music to go along with my ninja defuses_

_speedy ✪: think you can ask if i can use it?_

_sent: 12/26 1:28 AM_

**_albi ★: he's asleep rn X)_ **

**_albi ★: in the morning i'll ask him_ **

_received: 12/26 1:28 AM_

_speedy ✪: yea it is kinda late_

_speedy ✪: i should sleep too, gn side_

_sent: 12/26 1:29 AM_

_**albi ★: night speedy~** _

_received: 12/26 1:30 AM_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think the most ooc thing in the fic is shadow going to sleep at night
> 
> also this was drafted like..... half a year ago /shrug

**Author's Note:**

> i used aaron as shadow's name bc of his character in the yt series "poor guy", who's name is "aaron guy man".
> 
> also i published this early but im too tired to delete and make another draft and the first chapter is done anyway so WHATEVER


End file.
